She: “I see… And so you put something else instead of the head?”
“It’s not the first time I notice that in your photographs. You do this kind of things regularly, right?”
“For me it evokes questioning of Identity.”
Blood test, MRI, CT-scan, endoscopy, biopsy, blood test, MRI again… And we wait.
He is 806km 7h19min away without traffic.
12 kg down.
22 days since CA19-9 = 13680 u/ml.
31864 minutes since ‘It’s cancer, sir, we just have to find where the tumor is’.
They’re still looking. We’re still waiting.
I peel away the red on my fingernails as I sit tight, knowing I soon will hear the familiar ‘beep beep’ of my phone announcing the latest results of yet another appointment.
I work, I check homework. I numb myself enough that I don’t feel too much, but not so much that I am checked out.
‘One day at a time’ is my new mantra.
Some nights I disembody and I manage to sleep.